from Spectrum News 1: Domestic violence: talking about ‘the last taboo’

By Kimberly Perez

CLEVELAND — It's one topic people still struggle to talk about: domestic violence.

But it's a problem that isn't going away. According to the Ohio Domestic Violence Network, the number of domestic violence fatalities statewide surged to its highest number in a decade, with 157 people losing their lives.

There are many reasons people don’t leave the relationships, but there are organizations available to help when they are ready.

Many think a bruised lip, black eye or bruises is what domestic violence looks like, according to Alexandria Ruden, attorney for Legal Aid Society of Cleveland, but she said it’s much broader than that.

“Domestic violence may be a threat: ‘I'm going to kill you.’ Domestic violence may be an act of stalking: ‘He's following me. He's watching me. I know that he's hacking into my computer.’ Domestic violence could be a push,” Ruden said.

Ruden writes Ohio domestic violence law and has helped more than 10,000 people with domestic violence cases. She said finances are one of many reasons people stay.

“There's fear. Fear of the system, fear of law enforcement, fear that he's going to hurt them again because, again, separation is a time where abusers do act out,” Ruden said.

Legal Aid represents low-income victims of domestic violence, handling everything from divorce and protection orders to custody.

While getting out the door is the first step, that can mean not having a place to go, according to Anne Face, CEO of Journey Center for Safety and Healing, a nonprofit that offers therapy, shelter and supervision when kids are involved.

“If you look at the homeless population of families, 63% are victims of domestic violence, and that is the cause of their homelessness. So, we have housing support, financial support, first month's rent security deposit, as well as supportive services for a family, establishing their new safe and affordable permanent housing after leaving abuse,” Face said.

She said domestic violence happens in every demographic, income level, religion, and race.

“Because it knows no boundaries. We don't talk about it. We don't always hear about it. We call it the last taboo. But really, one in four women have experienced severe domestic violence,” Face said.

One in seven men experience domestic violence, and Face said it’s more than just physical.

“Bruises heal, we say, but words or somebody beating you down telling you you're worthless, cutting you off from your family takes much longer to repair,” Face said.

She said there’s one thing people can do to support survivors.

“What I always tell people is believe survivors. It's very hard, and somebody is being really brave if they share that with you,” she said.

Journey helps people make a safety plan if they decide to leave.

Ruden said is takes about seven attempts to leave a relationship before people leave for good.

“They have to go with their own pace, and they have to know that we're there for them, that we, if they call us back, we're not going to judge them, that we don't judge,” Ruden said.

For more information you can contact 216-391-help or journeyneo.org or call Legal Aid at 888-817-3777.

Source: Spectrum News 1 - Domestic violence: talking about 'the last taboo'